In Memory of Doris Ann (Groat) Lake

My Safest Place: Doris Ann (Groat) Lake

I always would’ve made the case
that the safe place in my life
is that house and farm a stone’s throw from the St. Mary’s. 

It is my brother and I-
kids-
chucking rocks into the “crick”
from the little dock 
as it lazed downstream 
and the big ol’ red barn 
composting itself back to the earth. 

Safe is that farmhouse
wrapped in UP stone
and faithfully feeding the birds year ‘round.
And, it’s staying cozy
hot really
on some-
many-
a frigid Northern Michigan Christmas Eve.
reading World War II books
or the Bible
alongside that Grandpa Abraham-handwrought barrel stove
in the glow of the Yuletide tree
harvested from the ’80 acres.

Safe
was evenings in that old house
playing spades
under a cloud of Muriel Magnum cigar haze
and razzing Grandma for sandbagging every great hand
after she had put together a nice little
“supper”
because “dinner” was what refueled that intrepid farmer,
Pops and Gramps,
halfway through his workday-
even allllll those years removed
from slinging hay and milking cows
before the sun and after
because he still had a 1930’s tractor
to blow out the Soo snow
backwards
even when the county plows couldn’t get down the road.
I’d have said it was throwing horseshoes
in the Reunion Fourth Sunday of July sun
gathered with so many
aunt and uncle and cousin
Lake and Groat.

Yet, other than from an oil painting
and black and white polaroids
and 8 millimeter film
and heroic tales of yore,
I never knew that original homestead farm
in Orion built by Lake sweat and ingenuity.
I never knew that house
that had no indoor plumbing
until Grandma finally demanded it
after Mom Carol was born in ’54.
Just like Craig, Gail and Mom Carol
certainly
must’ve felt at home downstate,
I’d have felt safe there, too.

Because,
I see now that those places
alone
didn’t do anything to help us feel
loved
and supported
and safe,
they are just buildings.
It was always her.
It was always Doris Ann Groat Lake,
Mom, Grandma, Great-Grandma,
mother-in-law, teacher, neighbor, friend,
who is my safe place.
She embodies that feeling,
that smell;
that memory;
that place I go to when I am most at peace…
or, equally-
when I am most in need of
finding some peace.

Safe-
She showed me a safe and right way of being human; 

Of thoroughness and excellence in executing one’s duties
Of dedication to providing a welcoming home for loved ones and strangers
Of growing food and preparing it scratch from well-worn and handed-down recipes
Of the security in upholding family traditions
Of serving your family and communities
Of growing your faith unceasingly in the great and loving Creator
Of hiding His words in my heart

And I am comforted
to know that she rests
safely in the arms of our Creator;

Welcomed as she welcomed so many
Clothed in glory as she fed and clothed so many on this earth
And, bathed in purest love
beyond understanding
and beyond the measure
of the love she shared with so many.

She is IN the best place,
but Grandma Lake will
ALWAYS remain
my safest place.